Dying To Live
by AshaTwiHard72
Summary: Why am I fighting to live, If I am just living to fight Why am I dying to live, If I am just living to die? Because even though I get lost at times, I always remember at the end of the day, that I am not living to die anymore, I'm fighting and living for YOU. Rated T for swearing, Femslash, Imprint story


**A/N: Hello everyone, sorry but this just popped into my head, decided to post it. I will continue to update this story if I get a show of interest, but I have not forgotten about my other stories, I am still working on updates for those as well. I appreciate all of your patience, and I hope you enjoy! Please Review!**

**Before You Read: Bella is Billy's only daughter, Rachel and Rebecca are not his daughters in this fic. **

** Jacob is Bella's older brother. **

**Age is as follows:**

**Jacob: 18, Bella: 16 1/2, Jared: 18, Paul: 17, Quil&Embry: 16, Leah:16, Seth: 14**

**Disclaimer: Asha does not own twilight or any of its charters and icons, **

**P.S. I'm not a lesbian, but the point of this story is Love is Love.**

I walked down the beach, slowly while looking for the guys. I was in a particularly shitty mood today, most days that I was exposed to the general public put me in this kind of mood. Spurring my hate for the human race on far above limits I once thought impossible.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and suddenly found myself plummeting towards the sand, a result of tripping over my own feet. I landed and caught myself with my hands, managing not to do too much harm.

"Shit." I mumbled aggravated, hurriedly jumping up, I looked down to make sure my clothes looked okay. Not that I gave a shit about what the guys thought, but you never know, there could be some pretty ladies out today. Sighing I dusted off my beige cargo shorts, that went slightly under my knees. I had just threw on some random clothes today and the out come was rather pleasing. With my shorts, I wore a dark blue t-shirt , under my open, plaid, long sleeve, red and blue flannel shirt. I had my high black Nike elite socks on with some midnight blue vans on, all in all pretty good. My hair hung straight, stopping a little under my shoulder, with my mariners snap back my dad Billy had gotten for me, on my head back wards. I nodded to myself, picking up my steady walking pace and pulled my phone out as it vibrated in my pocket. I opened the text from Jessica and groaned.

_From: Don't Answer_

_Hey bellsy! Imy! I haven't heard from you since the other night! Give me a call baby ;)_

_-YourJess_

I literally almost gagged, I should have never gotten involved with her. I- my musing was interrupted by the large apple phone in my hand being snatched. My head shot up in shock, that quickly melted to irritation when I saw the smug look on my brother's face.

"Whadya have here little sister!" He bellowed teasingly.

"Jake stop being an idiot and give it back!" I groaned out trying to grab my phone but when he reached his hand above his head I was done for. I'm tall, but not nearly as tall as Jacob, who stood at a hefty 6'2. I'm only 5'11.

Jacob just laughed at me, until another bronzed hand dashed out and grabbed it from Jake. I groaned even louder. Anyone but _Quil_!

"Oh bellsy, I miss you sooooo much!" He exclaimed making annoying little kissy faces. I rolled my eyes. This dude will probably be childish for the rest of his life, I swear.

"It doesn't even say that." I mumbled.

"Call me baby!" Embry cut in. They all burst out laughing. I just gave up.

"You fucking idiots." I mumbled.

"Awww we love you too BELLSY!" Jared joined in, sending them all into another fit of laughter.

I felt someone nudge my shoulder from the right and looked over to see the person who had shoulder bumped me was Paul. My best friend.

"So you gonna call her back _Bellsy_?" He mocked half heartedly. I chuckled.

"Do I ever?" I asked back. It was a known fact I didn't call the girls I slept with back. Most of my conquest were from forks, where homosexuality was less frowned upon than on the rez. A lot more chicks willing to hop into my bed there. I'll be lucky to have a tribe approved relationship at all with another native women, but a _WHITE_ women, would never and I mean NEVER slide. So Im not interested in dating those girls, but a good fuck wouldn't hurt anybody. This is why me and Paul see each other so clearly, he was the man version of me. We've even shared a girl or two.

He laughed and nodded.

"Yeah I know." He smirked, leaning over to quickly grab my phone from the hyenas, handing it back to me as the boys grumbled about Paul ruining the fun.

"Thanks Man."

He nodded his head.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Jared asked. I answered almost immediately.

"I say we get fucked up, I need a drink." I said hopefully.

"Bad day Iz?" Embry asked sympathetically. I shrugged, looking down a bit as we walked.

"You could say that. I mean everyday I run into Sue Clearwater is a good one, right?" I said sarcastically. Paul sighed exaggeratedly, Quil, Embry and Jared immediately started tossing around insults on the God Awful women. Jake came and threw his arm over my shoulder bringing me into a hug.

"Dad said he talked to her. I don't know why she has it out for you, she's such a bitch." He said sadly.

"Psht, that probably just pissed her off more. The Chief condoning homosexuals! Doesn't matter if I'm his daughter. She'll get the whole tribe to turn on me before I'm 18. They'll never respect me as Cj. I'll always be the tribe's unmentionables. The chiefs screw up of a dyke daughter." I fumed, I could feel my arms begin to lightly shake. Every time I thought about this I either ended up in tears or breaking something. Cj is an honor, an honor I've dreamed of my whole life. I dreamed to lead my tribe proudly, to make my dad proud. My dad used to tell me when I was little, about how Jacob and I would one day lead the tribe to victory. It's tribe history, it's always been this way, the Chief's first born son is to lead our tribe as Chief when he reaches full maturity. The first daughter born after the first born son, will lead with her brother as Cj, Chief Jr. Our people really do believe in the saying "Next to every great man, stands a great women. If the chief were to never have a daughter, the son's wife would stand as Cj, God forbid it to be a _husband_ standing by his side! But it doesn't matter, I did come and It was my right, My birth right to CJ, and I know if they could, most of the tribes people would snatch it right out from under me, just because I'm gay. I glanced to the right and immediately regretted opening my mouth. I should have never said anything, they were all looking at me with pity. I hate pity.

"Iz-" My brother started, but I cut him off by snatching myself away from him. Turning around, walking off.

"Just forget I ever said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut."

I don't know why I called them, I should have just gone home.

"Isabella!" Paul said angrily. Running to catch up with me, grabbing my shoulder. "Don't let her fill your head with that cr-" He started fiercely.

"No Paul. I'm alright. It isn't her fault I'm not _normal_. Just leave me alone for a while okay?" I snapped before I again tore from his grasp and ran off. I went to the only place I truly feel like I belong. The woods. As soon as I crossed into the trees, it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I could breathe. None of the trees stared at me with looks of distain, disgust, disappointment, disapproval, hate. None of the trees degraded and terrorized me. None of the trees judged me for being me. And for that, I would always love the trees.

I found myself walking through the trees, thinking back to my visit to the local grocery store Quil's family owns earlier today.

_Flashback_

_My dad needed me to get a few things for home, and sent me to the Quick Mart to grab them with some cash. I turned the truck off, jumping out and slaming the door. I looked up and ignored the few people that tried to stare slyly, continuing my walk into the store. I grabbed a hand buggy, I quickly started down the rows, grabing things here and there. I was looking for the right brand of flour when I heard a loud Oh! And what sounded like things falling. I looked over and saw an older Quiliete woman bent over picking up quite a few items that had assumedly fallen out her basket. I couldn't see who it was, but it didn't matter. My mother and father raised me right. You help people when they're in need, so I quickly ran over and knelt down helping pick the things up._

_"Here let me help you." I said while I gathered a few things, the women began to talk as she looked up. And what I saw had me nearly dropping the items in my arms._

_"Oh Thank y-" Her eyes widened and then narrowed. " I don't want your help! Let go of my things I'll pick them up myself!" She spat with hate laced into every word she spoke._

_I quickly stood back up._

_"Look I'm sorry Mrs. Clearwater, I was only trying to help." I told her honestly._

_"I would never want help from a devil spun thing like you." She hissed. I took a step back._

_"I'll just leave then." I said quietly. She laughed._

_" I've been waiting for you to leave this reservation since the moment I found out you were a no good, sinful, disgusting DYKE!" She spat. I stumbled back a bit, my eyes going wide and breath was caught. I felt like she had just punched me right in the gut._

_"Now you wait just a minute Sue! She was only trying to help you, there's no reason you have to be so hateful to her. You ought a be ashamed of yourself, degrading a CHILD!" Quil's mom Lisa told Sue._

_"No it's fine Mrs. Ataera, thank you. Good bye Mrs. Clearwater it's ALWAYS a pleasure speaking with you." And I Turned and left the isle, forgetting my basket and ignoring the sympathetic glances I got. Fuck this, Jacob could come to the store from now on. I got in my truck and put the pedal to the medal. I didn't think about anything, just drove. I didn't even know where I was going until I pulled into the parking lot. First beach, home of PEACE. I quickly grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed Paul's number. _

_"What?" He answered like the asshole he was._

_"Come to the beach bitch." I replied lightly. _

_"I'm with the guys, fuck you." He teased. I sighed, he always made me feel better. _

_"Give the phone to Jake you asswipe." I demanded._

_"Yeah yeah whatever." He mumbled and I heard tussling and voices, probably him throwing the phone._

_"What's up Iz?" He asked distractedly. They were probably playing video games._

_"Paul's a dick and I'm not their to fuck him up, do your baby sister a solid and bitch slap him for me please, and then meet me on first." I instructed. I didn't hear a reply just a loud slap, a lot of swearing, a glass braking, and the sounds of flesh beating flesh. Gosh I love my brother. _

_End of flashback_

I sighed, thinking how sad it was, my life I mean. Every since my mom passed, I can't seem to find two reasons to stay alive, I mean really, what's the point? As I walked I heard a loud snap and looked back. I practically growled.

"What the hell do _YOU_ want?"

**A/N: Sorry about the derogatory words, but they were necessary to illustrate the hate that some people have for people like this Bella, I find it disgusting. I don't in anyway condone the use of these words.**

**But please review and tell me what you think! Who do you think is the person in the woods?!**


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